Day 5: The essence of wedding dances and an unprepared bride


I absolutely love bbqs, just the smell of a bbq can make any winter day feel festive, at least that’s how it works in my head. My dad knows this, he had been seeing me toppling over with joy at the thought of having a bbq at home. So he arranged one for me and my friends who had now all arrived
and were busy making sense of all the dances they had been preparing in Islamabad and Karachi and exchanging over whatsapp videos. Husband and I share a group of mutual friends, we had agreed to    splitting them so the girls would stay at may place and boys at his. But I had stolen the boys for today, using live bbq as the tool, they fell for it. Even the groom’s best friend could be found devouring the food at my place that night, such is the power of free food (esp. for boys), success!


The entire day was spent in dance practices, pausing and playing the same dance video multiple times on the TV screen to figure out acrobatic steps. While I love dances on shadis, I really think the point of them is to have fun doing and make memories (and some video proof with all the ankle twists and ungraceful falls that happen during the practices). The entire purpose is killed when the practices turn into an acrobats class with a strict teacher and it becomes a competition to prove that you’re an untrained dancer who can dance better than the trained ones. Thankfully, I was not the bridezilla who was screaming with a danda in her hand when the steps weren’t impeccably coordinated or someone forgot which song they were even dancing on, because those are the moments that brought upon the craziest laughters. The only instruction I gave to my friends was to smile and have fun while dancing, not to look down with poker faces trying to recall the next moves. Some took my instruction too seriously and we ended up with hilarious pictures of them proving they in fact did have a jaw full of teeth. I still enjoy the videos from the dance practices more than those of the final dances at the mehndi because of the hilarious commentary and incidents happening in the background.


The day ended with all my friends going out post dinner, supposedly for coffee and hanging out, and leaving me alone with my parents. Did not feel good. The silence in the house was unsettling. All my samaan had already been shifted to my husband-to-be's house a day before. It had been an unexpectedly emotional time. When everything was being stuffed in the car that my brother and friend then took to my new home-to-be, I could sense the vulnerability in my parents' body language. My otherwise always-in-control mom dropping things here and there, my dad’s otherwise sturdy voice hinting shakiness, I was taken off-guard and didn’t know how to react.

Once the car left, taking with it most material signs of me living in that house, my parents urgently busied themselves with things that clearly required no immediate attention. The three of us played hide and seek with each other, avoided being in the same room, I’m not sure if we did this to get in control of our own emotions, to give each other some space or because we were trying to make sense of what was it that we were feeling.



The next morning I was woken up by a friend making some lame excuse about my mom getting angry at me sleeping in and the mehndi walas about to arrive. She dragged me, still in my pyjamas, downstairs for breakfast before I had even brushed my teeth. To my genuine surprise, what awaited me was a gorgeous table set for my bridal shower and all my girl friends fully dressed up for the occasion, now telling me to go back, wash my face and put on something other than my sleeping suit. The fact that I had not even kept aside a dress for the event proves that I was not expecting this at all. Not because I had no hope from my friends but because they had all come from other cities and I understood how troublesome it would have been to make the arrangements. Little did I know that they had made and brought most of the required props with them and had involved my mother and brother for the rest. Turned out they had not gone out for coffee the previous night after all. A yummy cake, my favorite flowers, adorable props for pictures and some highly inappropriate games later, we were all ready to behave like mashriqi girls and get henna put on her hands.


Have you read the previous posts from the wedding series? No? Go here and make me happy :)





3 comments

  1. Ufff I so relate to that part about acroabats class and strict teachers hahahah I dont enjoy dance practcices at all which are too serious and focus on too much on perfect sync. the point is to have fun! I love how you write :)

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  2. I had a surprise bridal shower too. It was fun !!
    -MBS

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