From A Daughter To A Mother - Happy Mother's Day!


All through my labour, my mother kept making trips to the rest room. More frequently than a normal person would. Initially, I thought that her tummy had gone a non-cooperative mode at the most inappropriate time. It was a while later when I noticed puffy eyes and a nose the color of a ripe 
tomato that I realized she had been making those trips to wash her face and hide her tears. A few months ago, I would have teased her about how unnecessarily emotional she is at times but now that I'm a mother myself, I can relate to what she must have been going through in that labour room, seeing her child in pain, hour after hour, not being to do anything to provide relief.

Motherhood is the most complicated thing in the world. It requires immense mental strength but it also makes you emotionally weak like nothing else does. It brings unprecedented joy in your life but also reveals fears that you never knew existed. Above all, it proves that you're capable of loving much more than you ever thought to be humanly possible, loving beyond bounds, loving selflessly.



Making me brush my teeth a few hours before I became a mother myself
We admire and cherish our mothers all our lives, but now I feel that nothing makes you appreciate what your mother has done for you quite like becoming a mother yourself. All those nagging calls to ask what you've had for food, the concerns over why you're not getting enough sleep and the over the top reactions to the pettiest problems in your life, they all make sense now. Of course she has to do all that, it is not even a choice for her. She woke up multiple times at night when you were an infant just to make sure you were breathing fine. Yes, she actually put a finger under your nose to assure herself that there's nothing wrong and you're just peacefully asleep. How can she now not check on you every hour when you tell her you've been having a slight headache?

I'd always known that my mother raised me and my brother without any elder to lend a helping hand. Neither her mother, nor her mother-in-law were in a state to stay with her and help out. But never before did I truly realise what that meant. I knew it must have been difficult, but that's just about it. It is now that I have Aleyan that it hits me every single day how tough it must have been for Ami. Every day when I hand Aleyan over to his Daadi early morning and rush off to my bed to sleep till noon, I think of how exhausting it would have been to not have that option. To not have anyone to hand over your baby to all through the day and just get some breathing space. And then my mom reminds me of how calm, peaceful and basically an angel Aleyan is compared to the I-am-allergic-to-sleeping-at-night kind of baby that I was, and it makes me wish I could go back in time and give a piece of my mind to my baby self. And if that wasn't enough to make me feel bad, Ami somehow recalls that time in the most nonchalant way now and says: "Ho hee gaya tha sab manage, it wasn't that difficult" and I'm just sitting here in my sorry state, thinking... Yeah right, you super woman!



If only I can be half the mother Ami has been to me and raise Aleyan to be half the man my mother-in-law raised my husband to be, I would consider myself deserving of all mommy awards out there. Except, there are no awards for this job. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No flexi-hours, no weekends, no annual leave. Your salary is those baby smiles which gets incremented to giggles and laughs and kisses and hugs over the years. The bonus is the extra love and admiration you get from your husband when he sees you toiling day and night for your most precious treasure (also when he repeatedly tries and fails at doing things that you've instinctively become a pro at).

I could go on and on but I'll end it by this one quote by Elizabeth Stone which captures the essence of motherhood beautifully: "Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

Happy Mother's Day! 



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8 comments

  1. I loved it. You couldn't have expressed motherhood more aptly. Our mothers are true super stars. Imagine having to do without basics such as pampers and still keep us dry through the night :)

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  2. Beautifully written, as always! Stumbled across your insta profile a few days ago and literally binge read all your posts :D

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  3. My mother and I had a strained relationship all through my teens and tweets. Ever since I became a mother, I only wish I could bring back that time and undo all those things I did to hurt her. This was such a beautiful read !

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    1. Sorry that you had to go through a stained relationship. Hope you can make the best of your time now.

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  4. Maria Bintay Shahid15 May 2017 at 07:31

    Yet another piece straight from the heart. Ever since I got married I keep referring to ammi's situation and I m simply wonder struck. We cannot be like our mothers but we could always try.... right:)

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